Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures (2009) Review

alrighty then! Them Crooked Vultures is a combination of Dave Grohl (who has drummed for Nirvana, Queens of the Stone Age, Nine Inch Nails, Probot and Scream as well as the singer/guitarist of the Foo Fighters) on drums, Josh Homme (singer/guitarist of Queens of the Stone Age, guitarist of Kyuss and guitarist of Eagles of Death Metal) on vocals and guitar and the legendary John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin (NO DUH!) on bass and organ. all 3 are very strong songwriters and amazing musicians who span multiple genres of music, multipule decades of music and have made some of the greatest songs and most important albums known to man and music...and i still was not expecting something like this! this is the most mindblowing insane album i have heard! the music i know falls under rock but after that it transends subgenres of rock that makes it love at first listen! they said this band was created for fun and you can sure as hell tell that it was all fun and games! highlights include "No One Loves Me and Neither Do I", "Mind Eraser (No Chaser)", "New Fang", "Warshaw or the First Breath You Take After You Give Up", "Dead End Friends", "Elephants", "Spinning in Daffodils", "Caligulove" and "Scumbag Blues". as for my ratting? i give this 10 vultures with bad spines out of 10 cause this is AMAZING! Jone Paul Jones is amazing on bass and organ, he has not sounded this good since the days of Zeppelin, Josh Homme gets into this alternative rock space where he is virtually untouchable and Dave Grohl is amazing in holding this musical frankenstein all together as they sound tight as fuck!

Joe Perry - Have Guitar, Will Travel (2009) Review

ok, technically this is the 4th Joe Perry Project album with their 4th singer, a guy Perry's wife found on youtube from Germany and Perry's 5 album outside of Aerosmith...but that is besides the point. this album is awesome! much better than Joe Perry's 2005 solo album (which i thought was a great cd mind you, very blusey). this one is good, old time rock n' roll! the band here is fuck'n awesome as the cd here blends nicely from one song to the other as there is not a weak song on here, however, it does not have that one song that stands out above and beyond...which is fine by me! i would rather have a cd full of good songs than a cd with 9 good songs, 1 BEYOND AWESOME SONG and 2 fillers. this cd actually has no filler on it! however, highlites include "Scare the Cat", "Oh Lord (21 Grams)", "Somebody is Gonna Get (Their Head Kicked in Tonite)" and "We've Got A Long Way to Go". as for my rating, i give this album 8 bottles of hotsauce out of 10 in that the singer sounds a lil like Steven Tyler on some songs and i gotta pinch myself to make sure i am not listening to an old Aerosmith album....which is not a bad thing mind you! this album and his 2005 self titled solo album show us that Joe Perry can still rock us for many years to come!

Foo Fighters - Greatest Hits (2009) Review

15 years, 6 albums, lots of former band memebers and one constant...ok 2 constants...Dave Grohl and amazing songs! this is the best of the Foo Fighters to date that include 16 songs (2 new songs and 1 unreleased live acoustic song) that works as not only a great introduction to a great band but also a good cd for any fan to include into their collection (especially the special edition)! the new songs "Wheels" and "Word Forward" are the highlights of the album for the sole reason that they stand strong along side classic songs such as "Everlong", "Big Me", "Long Road to Ruin", "All My Life", "Best of Me", "My Hero", "Monkey Wrench" etc. infact, i love the inclusion of "Breakout", "This is a Call" and "Skin and Bones" as they are songs i would not have thought to include on a greatest hits album but fit so perfectly. although personally, songs like "MIA", "DOA", "Let it Die" and "Febuary Stars" should of been included on this album, every fan will have their own personal list of what else should be on here. as for my ratting? 10 FF bombs out of 10, nuff said! i hope these guys keep making music for many years to come!

Slayer - World Painted Blood (2009) Review

being a Slayer fan since high school, i think i am well equipt to make a fair review of this album. ok, if your not a fan, don't bother, turn away now! if you like or better yet love Slayer, you may continue to read...this is simply the best album, back to front that Slayer has released since Divine Intervention in 1994!...imo that is. the music and lyrics are SOLID! this is better than God Hates Us all that had some good songs on it and A WHOLE LOT BETTER than Christ Illusion that was a let down for us expecting a return to classic Slayer with the return of Dave Lombardo. highlights include THE WHOLE FUCK'N ALBUM! GO NOW A BUY IT! my ratting should be obvious but incase it ain't, i give it 10 pentgrams out of 10 cause this is the Slayer album everyone has been waiting for, for the last 15 years!...or 19 years incase you hated Divine Intervention

Nirvana - Live At Reading

being a Nirvana fan since my days in high school, this concert has gained legendary status....and for good reason! this is touted as being Nirvana's greatest live concert ever and i think they had a good case cause as a fan who had a lot of Nirvana bootlegs this is an amazing preformance from a band and a singer who burned out all too early. highlights include the whole fuck'n cd! the band is fuck'n on! it is almost the complete recording as "Love Buzz" is left off the cd but is on the DVD. as for my rating you ask? 10 smiling dead faces out of 10! an essential for any fan of Nirvana!

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain (1967 - 1994)

Gunfire 76 - Casualties & Tragedies (2009) Review

Wednesday 13's venture into the world of rock well...rocks! not punky, not metal, simply rock...and he hits out the fuck'n park! highlites include the whole fuck'n album! the thing is rock gold! and just like the album, my review is short and sweet! the rating is 9 bottles of jack out of 10 cuase this album is awesome! and if you hate wednesday 13, this just gives you one more reason to hate him, for making an album even some of the haters will love!

Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath (1969) Review

I simply had to review this, the album that gave birth to a whole genre, Black Sabbath’s debut album! Featuring classics such as “N.I.B.” and the creepy sounding “Black Sabbath”, the album showed how you can easily meld heavy music with images of darkness, evil and nightmares. The album, back to front, is a classic in everyway possible, simply flawless. The album still can grab you by the balls even 40 years later as an essential Metal album. This is one of a few albums that if you are thinking of starting a Metal band you should study before you play a note. The highlight is the opening song “Black Sabbath” which is still creepy and can still send chills down my spine years later. For a rating I will give it 10 fallen angels out of 10 just for being so amazing as the album that created something from nothing.

Gorgeous Frankenstein - Gorgeous Frankenstein (2007) Review

Well kids, Doyal Wolfgang Von Frankenstein and Danzig are reunited but not in the way you thought or wished. Danzig here is producing the album instead of singing so we get Argyle Goolsby of Blitzkid on vocals and bass, Wolfgang’s wife dancing on stage and yea. The album is what you would expect from a man who’s only musical output previously was the world famous Misfits, short sweet songs. The album sounds like a bunch of Misfit’s b-sides actually which is not all that bad, but you expect it to be placed next to something much stronger. The only down point about this album was that it was tooted as the big reunion of Danzig and Wolfgang instead of it being Frankenstein’s new band. As for a rating I give it 6 hot dancing Frankenstein chicks out of 10 just cause I wish the material was stronger instead of being some music that was created for his wife to shake her ass too (the original intention).

Iron Maiden - Somewhere Back in Time (2008) Review

Really? Another greatest hits? I think Maiden now officially has more greatest hits than Aerosmith and the Rolling Stones combined! Although the track listing is not bad I don’t like how it only features material from the 1980s thus leaving out one of their greatest songs ever, “Fear of the Dark”. Personally, I think Best of the Beast would be a great way of introducing new fans to Iron Maiden but for the price, this has it’s benefits as well. Personally, I give this greatest hits 6 Eddies out of 10 cause yes, I do like Iron Maiden, yes I think greatest hits are a great way to introduce new people to the band and yes, the songs on here are amazing, BUT do we really need a new greatest hits album every 2 years? I would prefer a new studio album instead.

Metallica – Death Magnetic (2008) Review

This is the album that fans have been waiting for! Although personally I liked the albums post Black Album, this is what Metallica does best, hard hitting thrash! The album starts off with a kick in the ass known as “That was Just Your Life” which sets the tone for the album. The album then rolls on from there like a juggernaut with songs like “The Judas Kiss”, “My Apocalypse”, “Unforgiven III”, “Cyanide” and “The Day that Never Comes”. The true highlight of this album though is “All Nightmare Long” which picks up where “Enter Sandman” left off. Set in a nightmare, the dreamer is shown no mercy as he runs for his life from what ever it is that is hunting him down. Kirk Hammet said in an interview that Metallica could have made this album years ago which left many fans wondering why? Well, the older a band gets, the more they wish to experiment I guess. The rating? 9 scary guys out of 10 as my only complaint about the album is that the instrumental “Suicide & Redemption” runs way to long. It clocks in at around 10 minutes, if it was shorter or half the length than the album would be a perfect 10, sorry.

Alice Cooper – Along Came a Spider (2008) Review

We truly are not worthy! The master of horror/shock rock is back with his most brutal and horrifying album since 2000’s Brutal Planet. Into Alice’s mind we travel as he takes us on a journey to a serial killer known as Spider. In the story, the cops find the diary of Spider which goes into details about his victims and his obsession with building a giant spider made from female legs. He falls in love with on potential victim as he tracks and stalks his prey with a ending so twisted that only the master could have thought of. The highlight of the album is the wicked “Vengeance is Mine” featuring guitar work from the one and only Slash. The album features everything we expect from Alice; sick and twisted music! As for the rating? I give it 9 spiders out of 10 just ‘cause I can’t explain in words how twisted the music is, you just have to listen to it.

Frankenstein Drag Queens From Planet 13 (Six Disc Box Set) (2006) Review

Before there was the Murderdolls, before he went solo, Wednesday 13 fronted the Frankenstein Drag Queens from Planet 13, North Carolina’s infamous glam, horror rock band. After Wednesday hit it big with the Murderdolls, people discovered that many of the songs recorded for Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls were actually originally FDQFP13 songs, just “re-imagined” (14 of the 21 songs the Murderdolls recorded were FDQFP13 songs). Well, here you are, the original 4 albums that have become both legendary and expensive since the band went on hiatus in 2002. Also included is a rare treats CD that features songs that were released as singles, split singles or on 7 inches all now out of print. Featuring new art work all packaged conveniently into a little box of horrors, this set is a treat for any fan of Wednesday 13. Also included in this box set is a DVD from a show filmed with a camcorder, the show is a treat from the Night of the Living Drag Queens era when the band was a 4 piece. Also included is all the original artwork, not the re-released updated art work. This box set gets a perfect 10 zombie drag queens just for being amazing!

Michale Graves - Illusions Live/Viretta Park (2008) Review

Remember Graves? Former lead vocalist for the Misfits from 1996 – 2000? Well he is a solo artist with 3 albums under his belt not to mention his 4th away from the famed Misfits (Graves – Web of Drama being his first). This recording is an acoustic live album recorded while on his Illusions Tour (not to be confused with Gnarl’s own Illusion’s tour). With the exception of a handful of songs, it is just Graves, his guitar and fans sitting around him as he indulges from songs from all eras of his career from the Misfits to Graves and his solo work. This CD would work great if it was electronic and you wanted to give it to someone who has never heard anything Graves as sung before. His voice is in top shape and sometimes his guitar is out of tune but hey, this is a punk show right? Sloppiness comes with it and the CD benefits from it. Also included with this live recording are 6 demos (5 new original songs and 1 re-recording) that were recorded in Romania during the filming of Perkins 14 (a new horror movie featuring Graves). The new songs sound pretty good and I would be interested in hearing them in their final versions when he decides to release a new album. As for a ratting? I give this album 8 fiends out of 10 just cause “Blackbird” appears twice and I would have preferred another recording of an acoustic “Dig Up Her Bones” which is, to me anyways, his greatest song he wrote.

Wednesday 13 – Fuck it! We’ll do it Live (2008) Review

Everything you could ever expect from a punk rock show. This CD/DVD package chronicles Wednesday’s skeleton’s tour stop in Pennsylvania. Here is what to expect, little props, kick ass show, voice crackling, some wrong chords, fans and band going insane and oh! NO STUDIO “MAGIC”! This is as live as it gets, as close to the actual thing and trust me, it’s worth it. Mostly playing material off of his solo albums with the excepting of “197666” & “Rambo”, he shies away from his days of the Muderdolls and FDQFP13 (although the former’s songs were mostly reimaging of FDQFP13 songs). I like how he solidifies to his fan base that he is a solo artist who does not rely on his back catalogue from his past bands unlike some solo artists who play little to no solo material and do not distance themselves from their previous projects. Both the DVD and CD are RAW hard hitting pieces of material both worth the price on their own. Get them together and they are more than worth the price. As for a ratting? Hmmmm, how about 8 skeletons out of 10 as a longer set list with more material from the first 2 albums would have been awesome.

Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) Review

turns out you don't need a brain to enjoy this movie! thinking is highly overrated for this 90 minutes of fun fun fun! Seth Rogan, Steven Colbert, Keither Sutherland, Reese Witherspoon and co. are AWESOME in this fun cartoon spoof giving a nod to the old 50s/60s chessy drive-in movies as the monsters are awesome and make the movie but B.O.B. is the standout! SETH ROGAN KICKS ASS! the story is simple yet funny and nothing is over done. this is a movie that doesn't get stale so it's just pure enjoyment...as long as the jell-o doesn't give you the wrong number! (watch the movie to understand said reference). as for my ratting? 10 jell-os out of 10 as this movie is simply effective and oh whats that? FUN AND HALARIOUS!

Buckcherry - Live and Loud (2009) Review

god this takes me back! Buckcherry is one of those bands where on their albums they are awesome but live....they are breath taking! the band was born for the stage as shown on this live album! ok, there are a couple of fuck ups but it's live! almost all the songs are here as the hits are obviously the stand outs such as "Next 2 You", "Check Your Head", "Lit Up", "Talk to Me", "Rescue Me", "For the Movies", "Ridin'", "Everything", "Sorry" and the song that put them back on the map..."CRAZY BITCH"!. Todd and company are solid on this album as you can feel their energy ozing through your speakers giving the listener a hell of an adrenaline rush! i give this album 8 lines out of 10 as it's a great overview of all their albums thus far making it a great album for those just getting into the band to be introduced to! my only complaint is the omission of the songs "Too Drunk...", "Porn Star", "Don't Go Away" and the rarley if never preformed "Untitled" (the secret bonus song on their sophmore album Time Bomb) as they are great live and just great songs in general that would enhance the album imo.

Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue (2009) Review

in the 14 years since their last release, Alice in Chains preformed 3 shows with their original lead vocalist, released a box set, a best of box set, a greatest hits, a live album, another greatest hits, been on 4 tours, jerry has released 2 solo albums, inez has worked with almost everyone and we lost Layne Stayley (R.I.P.) to an overdose. ontop of all that, the musical landscape has changed very much since 1995! Nu-metal has come and gone, same for Rap-rock and grunge surviors are few (Dave Grohl, Pearl Jam, Mudhoney, Melvins, Chris Cornell) in terms of who is still around making music. that being said, AIC DELIVERS! this album seems like it could of been released after their self titled album (known as tripod due to the 3 legged dog on the cover) in that their distinct sound is still intact! William duVall is no Staley but fuck man, does he kick ass here! i admit i was skeptical 'till i saw them live but that night he made me a believer....and this album makes me even more of a believer now! Cantrell is still a monster on guitars, Inez is still a beast on bass while Sean beats the fuck out of his drums! the pressens of Layne is very appearnt on this album which is a good thing as he was a big part of their sound and in some sense, he was never relpaced, he is still an integreal part of Alice in Chains. stand out tracks include the tribute to Layne known as "Black Gives Way to Blue" (featuring piano from Elton John), "Check my Brain", "Last of my Kind", "A Looking in View", "When the Sun Rose Again" "Acid Bubble" and "Lesson Learned". my ratting? 10 men in the boxes out of 10...seriously check this fucker out!

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009) Review

ok so what do you get when you star Bill Moseley, Rosario Dawson, Brian Posehn, Tom Papa, Sheri Moon, Geoffrey Lewis & Paul Giamatti, put them in a cartoon movie about a wrestler turn superhero with a spy for a sister who is assisted by a horney robot and a kitty cat....OH and it's directed by Rob Zombie...well you get The Haunted World of El Superbeasto! 4 years in the making and now that it's out here it was well worth the wait! funny as hell! horror movie shout outs! fucked up and did i mention funny as hell? well it is! my ratting is simple...9 bats with telescopes out of 10! check this out for a good laugh!...i hope there is a sequal!

Pearl Jam - Backspacer (2009) Review

after 6 long years PEARL JAM IS BACK!....with a happy album? odd i know but hey, this new direction works for me. this is some of the best 36 minutes of Pearl Jam music they have released to date. the album goes by you fast at supersonic speed (pun intended!) as the Seattle grungers play furious, slow it down and mix it all back up again. Eddie Vedder's lyrics and voice are in top shape, Mike and Stone whail away on guitar, while Jeff and Matt keep the backbeat of this amazing band pounding loud and proud! stand out tracks include "Gonna See My Friend", "The Fixer", "Johnny Guitar", "Just Breathe", "Amongst the Waves", "Supersonic", "Force of Nature" and "The End". as for my ratting? 9 avacados out of 10 cause for me 36 minutes is just not enough although it is very true when they say that quality beats quanitity...especially in a day and age when alot of artists are jamming albums with filler just so they can fill the full 80 minutes...or get close enough that is

Kiss - Sonic Boom (2009) Review

YOU WANTED THE BEST? WELL YOU GOT THE BEST! THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD...KISS!!! and everyone can kiss my ass (pun intended!) cause the masters are back with their first studio album since 1998's Psycho Circus! now some of you may want to know how Sonic Boom sounds....well i will make it quite simple....IT ROCKS! featuring vocal debutes by Tommy Thayer (the new "Space Ace" with his song "When Lighting Strikes") and Eric Singer (doaning the makeup of the "Cat" with his song "All for the Glory") as well as a healthy dose of rock by the "Demon" Gene Simmons and the "Star Child" Paul Stanley, this is a pretty sick Kiss album! promoted as being a throwback album to the 1970s, the album falls short in comparision to the classic albums such as Destroyer, Love Gun, Dressed to Kill, Hotter than Hell and their self title debut known as Kiss....HOWEVEVER! this is album is soild that sounds like it could of followed Love Gun and MUCH BETTER than most of their material from the 1980s! for fans of the band this is a must buy, even the die hard, only aknowledge the original 4 as the one true Kiss will be happy with this album as it's all killer...no filler! and this is from a life long Kiss fan who was raised on the album Destroyer! stand out tracks are the leading single "Modern Day Delilah", "Russian Roulette", "Never Enough", "Hot and Cold", "All for the Glory" and "When Lighting Strikes". as for my ratting, i give this 9 love guns out of 10 'cause although this is not their greatest album ever...this one delievers the goods from beginning to end that will satisfy any Kiss fan!

The 69 Eyes - Back in Blood (2009) Review

well, it says it all in the title! THE 69 EYES ARE BACK...in blood! this is their follow up to their 2007 album Angels where the band saw their popularity rise much higher following their commerical breakthrough of Devils in 2004. this album is what you expect if you are fans of the 69 Eyes, a great mesh up of vocals, keyboards, Misifts horror punk and some metal. the Helsinky Vampires never disappoint on their albums as this one is SOLID! if your a fan, pick this up! is it their best? nope! does it kick ass? YES! stand out tracks include the leading single "Dead Girls are Easy", "The Good, the Bad, & the Undead", "Back in Blood", "Lips of Blood", "Some Kind of Magick" and the acoustic, slowed down "Eternal". as for my ratting you ask? how about 8 angels out of 10 as this album ROCKS!

Ace Frehley - Anomaly (2009) Review

ACE IS BACK 'CAUSE HE TOLD YOU SO! THATS RIGHT FOLKS! "SPACE" ACE FREHLEY, THE ORIGINAL AND GREATEST GUITARIST FOR KISS IS BACK!....and he has something to prove!as a life long Kiss fan (ever since i was young and my father played me the classic Kiss albums) a huge part of their sound was the Les Paul of Ace Frehley...and there is a reason why! his first solo release in 20 years is jaw dropping amazing! not a bad track on the album as it's all killer...no filler! from beginning to end this album is a stand out for anyone's collection as one of the best solo albums released by a Kiss member EVER! Ace is clean, sober and ready to rock, dipping into his old bag of tricks to release an album that could of been released after his 1978 self titled solo album. stand out tracks by one of the original guitar heroes are "Foxy & Free", "Outer Space", "Pain in the Neck", "Fox on the Run", "Change the World", "Little Below the Angels" and "It's a Great Life". as for my ratting? how does 10 aces out of 10! this album rocks that much...'nuff said!

Halloween II (2009) Review

all i can say after seeing this movie is W0W, Rob Zombie's mind is beyond fucked up! the movie picks up right where his remake left off with shout outs to Halloween 4 (her dressing up as a clown and killing her friend), 5 (Halloween party where her friend is killed when she runs off with a guy) and 6 (killing the whole family like a ritual)! this is the last movie of the series and Zombie made sure of it by going out with a BANG! GORE EVERYWHERE! BODIES! BLOOD! AND THE BEST ENDING TO ANY OF THE HALLOWEEN MOVIES SINCE THE ORIGINAL! the acting is top notch, the story is solid and there are shout outs to Kiss, Alice Cooper, Zappa, Black Flag, Rocky Horror Picture Show and Motorhead in the film, combining all the things Zombie loves into one movie. OH and if you were screamish with the 2007 remake STAY AWAY FROM THIS ONE! if you don't like Zombie's movies DON'T WATCH IT! this movie takes violence to a whole new level with some psychiatric twists that are awesome and original to the series and genre all together. my rating you ask? 9 white horses out of 10 cause the movie was awesome but i am kind of sad that this is the end of Micheal Myers and the whole Halloween series.

Our Lady Peace - Burn Burn (2009) Review

as clumsy as OLP can be (in that albums are either embraced by the masses or not) this album is right on in that clumsy fashion! now when i say clumsy i am referring to the band's sophomore album, not to the actual meaning of the world so yes, this album is a hit in my opinion! i will admit that i am a fan who owns and loves all of their releases, so take my word for what it is. the album opens with the lead off single "All You Did Was Save My Life" (one of the standout tracks on the album) which sets the tone of Burn Burn as a band who has returned to its roots. this album has more of an alternative feel to it when compared to their previous 2 albums (Gravity and Healthy in Paranoid Times) which had a more "mainstream" feel. however! even though this album is more embracing of their roots, this album sounds nothing like any other OLP album to date. no album sounds the same as the band never sticks to one formula ever. there are flashbacks of Naveed, Gravity, Happiness... and even Clumsy. so Maida doesn't sing like he used to, so what? this album is the sound of a band who have traveled and weathered stores only to come back stronger, wiser and dare i say it? more mature! if you are a fan, even a casual fan, pick this one up! you will not be disappointed. Highlights include "All You Did was Save My Life", "Refuge", "Dreamland", "Monkey Brains", "White Flag", "The End is Where We Begin", "Escape Artist", "Never Get Over You" and "Paper Moon". in fact, this is their strongest album since Spiritual Machines so for that alone, i give this album 9 balloons out of 10 cause this album is just that good in my opinion. for a band that alot of fans have thought to been in the dark over the last 10 years (even though they had some of their biggest hits in that time), this is them showing some life and light to those who have thought their best days where behind them...guess not! they still have alot left to say and some more entertaining to do as the future looks quite bright.

Iron Man (2008) Review

in all the hoopla of the amount of live action superhero movies that have made it onto the big screen Marvel has finally delivered us Iron Man...and it was all worth the wait! staring Robert Downey Jr. in his best role to date, playing the wealthy Tony Stark aka Iron Man! set in today's world and the current war on terrorism this movie brings Iron Man to life in a big way! great action, awesome effects, great laughs, all in all, the movie is a fun marriage between both man and machine. also staring Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeff Bridges who all turn in memorable roles to make this movie both memorable and exciting. if the first one is this good and i am more than excited to see what they end up doing for the second one! as for my rating i give it 9 flying iron suits out of 10 cause the movie is just a great watch and i think that Marvel should take control of all of its own movies (yes i am talking about Spiderman!) and do them the only way they should be done...THE RIGHT WAY!

The Incredible Hulk (2008) Review

ok, as recommended by me, take that 2003 movie entitled the Hulk, throw it in the toilette, take a shit and flush. any questions? OH and to cure the case of the green blues, get the movie, The Incredible Hulk , and enjoy it motherfuckers! no more getting "green" over the last incarnation of the Hulk cause this movie makes up for it...and more! staring Edward Norton (of Fight Club fame) in probably my favorite role to date this movie is non stop action that any fan of the Hulk would be more than proud of. Liv Tyler, the love interest is smoking hot in more ways than one as she is on top of her game! this movie corrects every wrong that the last one made, with no connection to it whatsoever (THANK GOD!) as the movie is 2 hours shorter and any fight scene you see in this movie, kicks the lone fight scene's ass from the 2003 Hulk! OH! and for you purists out there, there are three shout outs to the original TV series in that both Lou Ferrigno (who makes both a cameo appearance in the movie as a security guard as well as voices the Hulk himself to have that signature sound) and to Bill Bixby who is on a channel that the character Banner is watching (cause for those of you who don't know, Bixby was the first man to portray Banner). Take all that and at the end promise an Avenger's movie!? as the news is delivered by Tony Stark aka Iron Man himself (portrayed by Robert Downey Jr) and what could one ask for!...OH right! the ratting! how could i forget? i give this movie 9 Hulk Smashes out of 10 for rebooting the franchises on some solid ground while looking ahead to a bright future.

My Name is Bruce (2008) Review

that's right folks! b-movie mega star Bruce Campbell vs.... the Chinese protector of bean cured named Gwandi? well! this movie is simply put, groovy! everything one loves about a Bruce Campbell film with many shutouts to his previous movies as he reprises a role as ... wait for it...himself! to fight off an evil spirit in the woods (sound familiar to anyone?). helping him is an die hard uber fan and his mom (yes, a mom and son!). he runs scared, guns everywhere, and a few shutouts to the Evil Dead movies (like the chainsaw) and you have his best movie in a long time imo. this a role i think that suits him best, sure it could be typecasting cause it is similar to that of Ash in Evil Dead but who cares? it's Bruce Campbell! he made that fuck'n role! so everyone sit back, grab this flick and have some good laughs with the man, cause good, bad, he's the man with the gun!...and some dynamite! oh! i almost forgot a ratting, how dare i! i give it 9 evil spirits living in the woods out of 10 cause i wish the movie was a little longer but the alternate endings sure as hell make up for it baby!

Rant #22 - Labels

if there is one thing in this world i am sick of, i am beyond sick of labels! when we are born we are born with the labels of son or daughter and our first label, boy or girl. then we grow into to other labels, child, teenager, parent, adult, grandparent, etc. those are natural labels that we inherent with age but i am talking about the labels that everyone has to put on everyone else to pigeonhole us into some stupid little category to make their lives easier and safer...FUCK THAT! FUCK YOU! FUCK THE LABELS! we all label ourselves with our taste in music or our nationality. fine, but when we try to label ourselves as one thing and be confined to that one label we are placed in is when a problem begins. no one fits into one label! i swear, no one does! i am Italian, so i label myself that but i also carry the label of Napolitanio cause i am from Naples, i am also a Canadian and a Torontionian. other labels i carry is that of a "rocker". i label myself that but because i like Metal, Punk, Alternative, Classic Rock and i also like Reggae, very little Rap, Soul, Funk and the Blues, all genres that have come into contact with other sub genres of Rock. just with one label i am able to define who i am. everyone can define themselves with more than one label but in society, everyone is obsessed with trying to label a person into one thing, that's it, the end all, be all. no questions asked, that's how the world goes and everyone can sleep a little better...WAKE THE FUCK UP CAUSE IT DOESN'T AND IT AIN'T HOW IT WORKS SO GROW THE FUCK UP AND JUST LET PEOPLE BE WHO THEY ARE WITHOUT ALL THE STUPID LABELS YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCK'N OBSESSED WITH...and that's my rant on labels.

Rant #21 - KEEP CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN

okay, so between work and when i went to the mall i saw something that would never be allowed when i was younger, kids acting out of control and BOSSING AROUND THEIR PARENTS! IF THAT WAS ME I WOULD HAVE BEEN BEATING FOR EVEN THINKING OF ACTING OUT! now i am not condoning hitting your children or such things like that BUT FUCK! the happy chair and time outs don't seem to be working! time outs are nothing more than 15 mins of the child thinking about how he got caught and now not to get caught the next time. like common! and as for the bossing around part? jesus christ! WHO THE FUCK IS THE PARENT! YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE IN CONTROL AND TEACH THEM! okay! you want to be the child's best friend and a big influence in their lives, fine! i get that! but you must also must be some sort of authority figure in that child's life or else they won't respect shit from no one and act out against people like the police that could end up disastrous or fatal. although this may be a stretch for some of you to imagine it really is not. so you know what? start keeping control of your fuck'n children cause if you don't, someone else will and the results may be disastrous.

Rant #20 - Fashion

recently at work i over heard some people talking about fashion and what they deemed to be "rocker" fashion...where the fuck do they come up with this shit! what the fuck is "rocker" fashion? jeans and a t-shirt? piercings? chains? flannel? like what the fuck! i hate when people label shit (that will be discussed in another rant) and when they associate labels with the way you dress! NO ONE and i stress that NO ONE dresses the same, even though people may have the same cloths, everyone has a style of their own! sorry for some of you to hear that but we all know what works for ourselves. sure we see something we like and we simulate it but we also have a way of taking that look and making it somewhat, our own. some people have a simple style, some have a complicated style, some just wear whatever the fuck is clean and doesn't smell! i fall into those of the former in that my style is simple and the later in that i really don't care, i don't spend FOREVER figuring out what to wear cause i know what works for me. some people over complicate their style because they want to fit in or make it with the group of cool kids who dress like the famous people and thus, try not to have their own style. they work hard to not have their own style! that is sad cause they just become soulless puppets to a lifestyle that they will pour money into because they are told they have to buy into it if they want to fit in. does it really matter if you fit in or not? honestly! i see women in their 40s, 50s and even their 60s trying to fit in...GIVE IT UP! just be yourselves and be happy instead of being unhappy trying to fulfill some false lifestyle that will do more to depress you than cause you any good, and that's my rant on fashion.

Rant #19 - "Die Hard" fans

that's right, this rant is about people who claim they are die hard fans of bands cause i am sick of hearing them piss and moan about the artist or band doesn't release the same album over and over again to keep them happy...SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS THEIR JOB! THEY CAN RELEASE WHAT EVER THE FUCK THEY WANT (or sometimes what the record labels tell them too in some cases). i am sick of hearing whining cause MetallicA doesn't sound like ...And Justice for All or Our Lady Peace doesn't sound like Clumsy...GIVE IT UP! PEOPLE GROW THE UP YOU MORONS! as much as i like Slayer they have re-released the same album since after 1994 with the same riffs and songs with the exception of 1 stand out track and different titles and different song names. before people would allow an artist to grow BUT NOT TODAY! THIS IS WHY WE HAVE POP MUSIC AND ARTISTS WHO ALL SOUND THE SAME! AND A DOWNLOADING PROBLEM! a die hard fan goes out, buys the album, and hey, if it's not the band's greatest album ever made we get that and enjoy it for what it is, a growth for the band. instead you hear things like, they haven't made a good album since BLAH BLAH BLAH and sold out. DO YOU THINK THEY CARE IF YOU THINK THEY SOLD OUT? THEY ARE MAKING MORE MONEY THEN YOU'LL SEE IN A LIFE TIME YOU FUCK! plus selling out is so vague so please stop using that word unless they sold out a show. Fans stick by their favorite bands at all times just like we stick by our teams, through thick and thin, we may have little complaints but hey, we accept it SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ENJOY IT...and that's my rant on those who dub themselves to be die hard know it all fans

Rant #18

DON'T CRY FOR ME EMO KIDS! that's right folks! my second rant on the day is about another group of people in society whom i dislike...EMO KIDS! oh i'm so depressed, the world is against me *slits wrist* GIVE ME A MOTHERFUCK'N BREAK! GROW THE FUCK UP! THAT'S FUCK'N LIFE OK? like jesus christ, a lot of these bastard kids have it sooooo good that they don't even know! life has you down cause you don't get respect? EARN IT! no one listens? SHUT UP YOUR BRATS! slitting yourself is not the best way to get attention you fuck'n attention whores, i hurt myself to feel alive? WTF GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF SUCKING OUT OVER IT! THAT IS JUST THE WAY LIFE IS! IT AIN'T EASY YOU ASSHOLES! i can't even justify typing this any longer cause i am getting more pissed off as i type this so grow the fuck up, get a goddamn life, start enjoying the one you were given, stop your fuck'n sobbing over yourself and get some fuck'n fresh air...and that's my rant on emos!

Rant #17

honestly, some people are gonna hate me for this but ah well, i am promised free speech...I DON'T CARE ABOUT MICHEAL JACKSON! FARRA FAWSET DIED TOO AND NO ONE GAVE TWO SHITS! YOU PEOPLE WERE MAKING FUN OF HIM TOO AND NOW YOUR A FAN CAUSE HE IS DEAD? people are hypocrites at times but ah well! people disrespect the dead all the fuck'n time! i see ppl spitting on graves of soldiers and spray paint on war memorials, i do not support war what so ever but these people gave their lives for their country and they get no respect? WTF! this is sickening! oh! and what about all the Elvis and Freddie Mercury jokes? Freddie Mercury died of AIDS! but all people make fun of his is homosexuality and how he was the Queen, or how the one TRUE King Elvis died on his throne? that's life but is that not disrespecting the dead? R.I.P. anyone?? does no one know what it means? do i get mad when i hear those jokes? nope! it's life! it shouldn't matter how famous you are, you are a human being, a friend was right, famous people are human beings, he died, so sad but he made himself the joke! he didn't have to do all the shit he did that got him made fun of and OH you wanna know what killed him? all those infamous plastic surgeries cause they do a number on your body and can weaken your heart...duh! so see? he did it himself it looks like, so bash me if you like, i don't care respect the dead, there were people who did more with their lives and musicians who died who inspired more people than MJ ever did but when they died no one cared (like Ron Ashton of the Stooges who along with his brother and Iggy Pop created punk and died at 60 around new years eve or day), a lot of my heroes are no longer here and i have heard the jokes a thousand times over...do i look like i care? i am fan and that's what matters so don't be giving me shit or anything

Fanboys (2009) Review

CHEWY! that's right! i called chewy! got a problem? (check out the movie to understand said reference) in possibly one of the greatest films to ever be released straight to DVD, Fanboys from beginning to end is beyond funny! whether your a Star Wars die hard fan or a casual fan like me, this movie is BEYOND funny in it's showcasing of 5 die hard Star Wars fans/friends who are on a mission to see the Phantom Menace before it was released. with many cameo appearances form Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes (from Jay and Silent Bob fame) who are as sweet and womanly (watch the movie to get the joke), to Seth Rogan who provides the highlight of the film when he decides to fight....Seth Rogan in a battle between Star Wars and Star Trek! to list the other cameos? well, there are just too fuck'n many like Princess Leia, Lando, William Shatner, Will Forte and Danny Trejo among others! the story is an awesome movie about the testament to 3 things; 1) Friendship 2) Star Wars and 3) RUSH! ('cause Rush is variety...again, check out the movie!). so, as for my rating? i give it 10 chewys out of 10 and recommend that you guys watch it to see why it is so goddamn funny if you even remotely like the original trilogy!...OH and may the force be strong with you

Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals (2009) Review

i read somewhere that a reviewer believed this would be the band's breakthrough album in the States...well he could be right! Canada's indie sweethearts have taken the best elements from their previous studio efforts in order to make the most mature album of their career thus far. Although not their best effort thus far as their breakthrough album Watch Out! from 2004 still holds that title. however, this album comes damn near close! the band is spot on with Dallas and George sharing vocal duties with perfect harmonies! for me, the stand out tracks are "Old Crows", "Young Cardinals", "Born and Raised", "Emerald Street", "Accept Crime" and "Heading to for the Sun". the only song i wasn't feeling was "The Northern" which felt a bit off and misplaced on the album that had so many killer tunes. as for my rating? i give it 9 skull hearts out of 10 as this album is just kick ass and delivered by a band who has matured to the point that they know what works for them best...oh! and if this album doesn't break them into the mainstream in the States like they are in Canada, this album will full sure strengthen their growing fan base there, here and all over the world as the biggest indie band on the planet today, i my honest opinion.

Drowning Pool - Loudest Common Denomintator (2009) Review

let the live album hit the....FLOOR! that's right folks, Drowning Pool's first live album and 4th release overall. on their 3rd lead singer Ryan McCombs (after the death of Dave "Stage" Williams and the departure of Jason "Gong" Jones) and the band sounds ON! if you have forgotten about these guys, CHECK THIS OUT! you will not be disappointed and for the fans, GET IT! this is how the boys in Drowning Pool made their name, on the STAGE. highlights include "Sinner", "Full Circle", "Step Up", "Soldiers" (with a story about a story about an injured soldier they visited in the hospital), "Pity", "Tear Away" (dedicated to the deceased Dave "Stage" Williams as the fans sing along with the same passion) and of course, "Bodies". the live cd also comes with 2 acoustic demos of "Shame" and another highlight of the disc, the acoustic "37 Stitches". as for my ratting? 9 sinners out of 10 as i think there are a couple of songs that should of been on the set list but since it was recorded at a festival not in front of their own rabid fans but hey, they do a damn good job of showing everyone why they are Metal's great survivor stories.

Bruce Springsteen - Working on a Dream (2009) Review

in walks the Boss' happiest, most optimistic album to date. at the time of Magic and the Rising, America looked like it was on a downfall 'cause of the Bush administration and 9/11 which is reflected in the music of Bruce Springsteen. Springsteen's albums are a picture of what is going on in the American working class and this album is no acceptation. the album is optimistic due to a change in administration and probably a change for the better in America. highlights of the album include "Working on a Dream", "Queen of the Supermarket" (with it's middle age protagonist dreaming about a young lady cashing him out) and the bonus track, the best song on the album in my own opinion "The Wrestler" from the surprise hit movie of the same name. as for my rating? i give it 9 hungry hearts out of 10 cause, once again, the Boss has done it, making an album you can listen to from beginning to end over and over again.

Bourbon Crow - A Long Way to the Bottom (2009) Review

PUNK GOES....Southern rock/Country? well that's you get when you listen to Wednesday 13 and Ryan's Bourbon Crow! with their second album they pay homage to the music of their childhood. the first album pay tribute to outlaw country, this one pays homage to southern rock. all i can say is this is the perfect drinking album, much like the first album, with fun songs, great for singing along and some memorable lyrics. ok, so there is a slight warning cause of the randomized track listing but that does not matter, the album is amazing! as a fan of Wednesday 13, i have all of his albums and he has done it again! with no record label to hold him back, Horror High gives him the range to do whatever the fuck he wants! and us the listeners benefit from this as we get no-holds barred music from the man! standouts include "Ol' Whiskey Mountain", "You Have No Friends", "Long Way to the Bottom", "Haulin' Ass", "Take a Bullet for You" and "Those Southern Times". as for a rating? 10 bottles of Jack out of 10! great summer music for barbecuing, having a few drinks with friends or just enjoying life in general 'cause on the Highway to Hangovers, you need a follow up on the long way to the bottom of another bottle!

Spinal Tap - Back From The Dead (2009) Review

WARNING! DO NOT PICK UP THIS ALBUM IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE MOVIE, THE BAND OR FUN FUN FUN! well that's my disclaimer for this album which is just pure fun, no ands ifs or mothefuck'n buts! this is the sound of a band who doesn't take themselves seriously and that's what makes this work. the album features 19 tracks, 6 new and 13 re-recorded "re imagined" tracks from the classic soundtrack/movie. in all honesty, this is just fun, just fun, that is the only way to describe this recording. for days your down or just need a laugh put this on! this will make you crack a smile in no time. as for what songs stand out? all of them! the re-imagined tracks stand out compared to the originals taking what we loved about them and flipping them around like the reggae style "(Listen to The) Flower People" or the funky version of "Sex Farm". as for my ratting? i think 10 mini Stonehenges getting trampled by dwarfs out of 10 is a fitting rating for this album. so sit back, relax, and turn your stereo all the way up to 11! YES I SAID 11! and have fun with England's loudest band

Pineapple Express (2008) Review

this movie is simply epically funny! one of the funniest films to come out last year, Pineapple Express staring Seth Rogan and James Franco who pair up to make a pair of unlikely stoner heroes in the vain of Cheech and Chong or even Jay and Silent Bob. some people have said this is the funniest movie of all time...i wouldn't go that far. the movie is funny, no doubt about it but this is not Seth Rogan's best roll or the funniest movie of 2008 (Zack and Miri own the rights to that in my own opinion). this movie is probably the second funniest movie of the year with my only complaint being that the movie is really long but it is packed with action and laughs so that it doesn't feel like it. as for my ratting? 9 joints out of 10, in the most epic funny movie to come out in a long time so everyone GRAB EVERYTHING YOU NEED! SNACKS! FOOD! FRUIT ROLL UPS! and get this movie as soon as possible.

The Spirit (2008) Review

THIS ONE'S FOR MUFFIN! one of the battle cries heard in the movie. this movie was simply kick ass, lots of humor, lots of action, lots of fun and lots of carnage. Gabriel Macht brings the Spirit alive along with some help from Frank Miller at the helm. the duo is brings the carnage and laughter to it's audience. also, Samuel L. Jackson as The Octopus is amazing as the bad guy who brings pure comedy to the character especially during his Nazi speech. oh! and how can i forget Eva Mendes as Sand Saref, the Spirit's childhood sweet heart who is smokin' hot in the movie and turns in possibly the greatest performance of her life. after this movie, i also want henchmen as stupid as the ones in the movie. overall, the story is fun, action packed and easy to follow, a cult classic for years to come. if you haven't seen it i HIGHLY recommend that you do! as for my ratting? 9 shiny things out of 10! just like Sin City before it, this movie has so many genres rolled into one and if you liked Sin City, you'll LOVE the Spirit

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) Review

what was billed as the funniest movie of the year has fallen short BIG TIME. if this is the standard for funny movies for 2009, the bar couldn't be any lower. Kevin James, who is normally funny, falls short while Happy Madison who are known for releasing funny ass films falls short as well. sure there are some big laughs but the movie comes across as more epic than funny. in fact, most of the funny scenes are shown in the trailers leading up to the movie, which leaves the rest of the movie seem that plain. so, my rating for this movie, is 5 Segways out of 10 cause yes, there are some funny parts but the rest of the movie does not hold momentum as well as it should or normally does with their other movies.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008) Review

if the title alone makes you laugh then watch this goddamn movie! if you like Kevin Smith, THEN WATCH THIS MOVIE! if you like Seth Rogan THEN WATCH THIS MOVIE! the funniest movie of 2008 for me, hands down, is Zack and Miri. the name lives up as yes, there are naked chicks in the movie and Jason Mewes (better known as Jay to most people) lets it, literally, all hang out! Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks deliver their best performances in probably their best movies in my own simple opinion. especially for Seth Rogan who's movies (whether some of you know it or not) uses Kevin Smith's own brand of comedy as his inspiration for the dialogue and that's the strength of this movie, Kevin Smith's signature dialogue, that is delivered with no holds barred delivery with a 1000 laughs a minute. aside from the porno part of the movie, this is a love story about two friends finding themselves while trying to earn money to pay off their bills by making a...you guessed it! a porno! Jason Mewes, in the movie as Lester delivers his best non Jay role to date. the other stand out performance other than the 3 mentioned above was Jeff Anderson as Deacon, the cameraman of the porno, who in the movie, LITERALLY has his shit covered in his best role outside of his signature Randal Graves from the Clerks movies. as for my rating? i give it 10 Star Whores out of 10 (for any said reference, if you don't get them check out the movie asap!) as it is just laugh after laugh as directer Kevin Smith steps out of his two comfort zones of the Viewaskew Universe (Jay and Silent Bob movies for those of you who won't know) and even out of Jersey to make one of his best films to date.

The Watchmen (2009) Review

warning to all comic book purists, this is not and i stress NOT a direct adaptation of the graphic novel. However, when working with the most celebrated graphic novel of all time and possibly the greatest of all time, this movie does not fall short! the movie is everything you thought it would be and that is...amazing! after viewing the trailer for this movie before Dark Knight (possibly one of the greatest comic book movie of all time), i wanted to see this! so my friend referred me to the novel which just blew me away and started to worry me if the movie would be able to live up to the legacy of graphic novel. you know what? it did, and it changed anything. i think that is where the brilliance of the movie comes in, except for a couple of changes and a twist at the ending, this follows pretty closely to the comic book series. another thing that made this movie so amazing was the fact that no big names were included in the movie (although Jeffrey Dean Morgan does look a lot like Robert Downey Jr.) so that all egos would be put aside. this movie could of easily been turned into an all out movie filled with all star actors but it would of not been as good as it was. some people may not like the fact that not everything in the graphic novel is included in the movie (including the comic within the comic that was turned into a separate movie altogether) but hey, the movie is almost 3 hours long and it still kicks ass. even though a lot was taken out due to time, a lot was kept in and not compromised to make possibly one of the greatest comic book movies of all time, especially at a time when some truly amazing comic book adaption movies have come out...OH and the rating? 10 watchmen out of 10 even though we have to stair at a blue penis for the majority of the movie (can't he wear pants??) but hey, i get why they did it and at least they make up for it with having Malin Akerman appear naked in the film MORE than makes up for it. hell, cgi isn't even overused in this movie as it works just right as some movies have a tendency to just over do it at times. so Zack Snyder, take a bow, you did what it took most directors 20 years to do....turn this classic graphic novel into one kick ass movie

Punisher: War Zone (2008) Review

W0W that is the only thing i can say after viewing this movie! Keep in mind that i am a fan of the last Punisher movie that came out in the early part of this decade and all i can say is that this one blew that away! in following with the tradition of the Marvel Knights comics (allowed to be more violent as these are not for kids), the first movie to be made under this banner reminded me why the Punisher is my favorite Marvel character (fuck Spiderman!). Frank Castle is nasty as hell and the blood bath at the beginning in the film is only an indicator of what the movie will be like. Ray Stevenson brings an edgier Frank Castle alive in this none direct squeal to the 2004 Punisher while Dominic West as Jigsaw is a better villain than John Travolta as Howard Saint was in the last Punisher movie. oh! and not forgetting the blood bath at the beginning of the movie, lucky director Lexi Alexander does not blow his load and delivers some sick ass action scenes that are genius in how they are choreographed in the movie. as for my ratting? no brainer, 9 skulls outta 10 cause this is probably the superhero film that would go unnoticed when compared to the Dark Knight and The Watchmen.

Anvil! the Story of Anvil (2008) Review

this documentary was billed as the real life Spinal Tap and they were not lying. this documentary is hilarious and also a bit sad at times. the band was thrown in the "where are they now bin?" or the "aren't they dead yet?" bin. the laughs are all over the place and you see something you rarely see in some documentaries, real people being....real. thanks to this movie, Anvil is a household name and getting their 15 minutes of fame extended. they also have a second chance at their dreams, from day jobs to the stage, to a tour of Europe (where the laughs start rolling especially the show where Lips tells Robb that "the place is packed!" only to find 5 people and a guy in the chair there to see them. my ratting for this is 10 anvils out of 10 cause i normally do not like watching documentaries, but this and A Headbanger's Journey are the only documentaries i enjoy, and Anvil! The Story of Anvil, is truly a joy to watch, hands down.

Fast and the Furious 4 (2009) Review

well what can i say, the most anticipated movie of the year...and probably the most disappointing movie of the year. although this is better then the second one, that does not say much. the story is lame, predictable and boring at times. there is even a lame attempt at tying in the 3rd one so that it would make sense to include it in the series. the promise of the original cast is kinda lost in that the movie turns from high action to some mystery movie with cars. as for a ratting? i give it 5 supped up cars out of 10 cause although it does have it's moments that are enjoyable with the car chases, the story is lacking and they could have done so much more with the movie after all the hype it got.

Crank 2: High Voltage (2009) Review

DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE IF YOU DID NOT LIKE THE FIRST ONE...there, that was my little disclaimer, but yea, this movie is just as fucked up and just as random as the original Crank. the movie lives up it's moniker of high voltage as there is high voltage action from beginning to end. however, there is no surprises really, this one is pretty similar to the original Crank with the exception of the guy who has body turrets uncontrolled twitching) and a Chinese hooker who likes to follow him around. the man with body turrets provides probably the best parts of the whole film in my honest opinion. Oh! most of the people from the original cast is back and the ending is just awesome. none stop electric action with even a few laughs at REO Speedwagon's "Keep on Loving You" thanks to this movie. as for a rating, i give it 7 strawberry tarts out of 10...and if you don't know what that is, watch the movie. the reason i give it 7 is cause it is fucked up and funny as hell as well as predictable at times if you saw the original one.

Rancid - Let the Dominoes Fall (2009) Review

Well what can i say? Rancid are back and with authority! this is the Punk rock album of the year! hands down! sorry Green Day. after a 6 year gap between their last studio album (2003's Indestructible) expectations were high and they were dually met with the band's strongest studio album since 1995's ...And Out Come the Wolves. first off, i will comment on the rhythm section. Branden Steineckert does a great job in filling in for the legendary departed Brett Reed who departed from the band in 2006. on this album we hear classic Rancid which i find funny for 2 reasons. the first reason is that any song Tim or Lars play on can be considered a Rancid song, what makes it truly a Rancid song, as they themselves have said, is Matt Freeman's bass (The best fuck'n bass player alive today!). he can hold the band together and along with Branden provide a solid foundation for both Lars and Tim to play on top of. while mentioning Tim and Lars, both men are in top form on this album vocally and guitar wise. how can anyone not love the sound of Lars' Epi or Tim's Gretch is beyond me. this is just a fun album that suits the summer weather perfectly. Highlights include "East Bay Night", "Last One to Die", "Up to No Good", "Lulu", "Disconnected", "New Orleans" and "Civilian Ways". Rancid is not afraid to pull no punches on their albums and the album itself is solid from beginning to end. if you like catchy tunes this is the album for you, Punk, Ska, Acoustic, there is no territory these guys will not tread. as for my ratting? i give this 10 dominoes out of 10, 'cause this is a soon to be classic Rancid album, no surprises, just a band doing what they do best, what ever they want to do in order to create the best music they can and for those of you who thought they would reinvent the wheel? they prefer the tweak it and have fun doing it

Crowley/Chemical Wedding (2008) Review

One of the most fucked up movies I have ever seen! The movie written by Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden fame and directed by Monty Python’s Julian Doyle is a supernatural horror movie set in today’s world staring Simon Callow (Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls) who plays Professor Oliver Haddo. Professor Oliver Haddo becomes possessed by the famous occultist Aleister Crowley who, in 3 days attempts to be born again. The story involves havoc, a super computer, oh! How I could I forget? Sex galore! Fighting against time, a journalist and an American professor this movie is a must see especially for fans of Iron Maiden. In fact the movie features music by both Iron Maiden and Bruce Dickinson’s solo work. This movie is not for everyone but for me I give it 8 Eddies out of 10 ‘because even though the story may sound cheesy and predictable, it is still worth the watch.

Tim "Ripper" Owens - Play My Game (2009) Review

Here it is folks, the scream machine's debut solo album! oh! and it doesn't disappoint one bit! for those expecting another Beyond Fear album hold up, that is coming in the next year or two, this is a solo album that features some of the best players in Metal today! for all the naysayers who says the Ripper can't write grab this cd and shut your fuck'n mouths! the playing is top notch with a different all-star line up for every track including Steve Stevens, John Comprix, Bob Kulick, Chris Caffery, Dave Ellefson, Rudy Sarzo, James Lomenzo, Simon Wright, Vinny Appice & 10 other great Metal musicians. Highlights from the album include "Play My Game", "No Good Goodbyes", "The Cover Up", "Believe" and "Starting Over" which should be concert staples in the Ripper's solo set. from the man who fronted some of Metal's best, Tim "Ripper" Owens (ex-Judas Priest, ex-Iced Earth, ex-Winters Bane, ex-Brainicide, ex-British Steel, ex-Seattle, Yngwie Malmsteen, Hail!, Charred Walls of the Damned and Beyond Fear) shows that he is not afraid to take chances this album and i hope that down the line we see another solo album from the Ripper cause this was quite a hell of a listen in my honest opinion. hell, even the artwork is amazing and gives it the feeling of an LP from the days of old, back when music wasn't shit. as for my rating? 9 screaming banshees out of 10 because every cut on the album is strong but he could of let his voice rip a little more on the album and give us one track with his signature scream.

Friday the 13th (2009) Review

What can I say? Jason is back! As a fan of the series I was a little bit sceptical about restarting the series. However, with that being said, here is the low down. Take elements of the first 3 movies of the series, every cliché ever in a Jason movie and throw them together, what do you get? The best Jason movie since Part 8! First off, the premise is simple, Jason on a killing spree! No over thinking, no stupid ideas that looks good on paper, just a simple, predictable Jason movie! As a fan, this is the one we have been waiting for now for almost 20 years. I guarantee if you have seen any Jason movie from Part 2 on, you have seen this one as well! But that does not mean it is shit, in fact, its simplicity is what makes it so great! Hot chicks, debauchery, Jason kills everyone, simple yet effective. It is full of OH SHIT Moments, best deaths in a horror movie with some original ways to die that, shockingly although simple, have not been used yet in any other movie. If you want me to rate this I get it 9 machetes out of 10 for simply bring back some pride to a franchise that, although has a solid and dedicated fan base, some reason to believe that Jason is not dead yet.

Heaven and Hell – The Devil You Know (2009)

ALL YOU “GUITAR HEROS” TAKE NOTE! HERE IS A LESSON BY THE ORIGINAL GUITAR HERO! His name you ask? Well if you don’t know you should study him, his name is…TONY IOMMI! Entitled the Devil You Know due to the fact that this is Dio-era Black Sabbath under a different name, this is everything you would expect from a Sabbath album! Simply awesome! This album picks up where Dehumanizer left off with a sprinkle of magic from the Mob Rules and Heaven and Hell albums. You can tell that Dio, Geezer, Iommi and Apprice are just enjoying themselves while creating what I would dub to be the Metal album of the year. The standout track has to be the first single, “Bible Black” which is just chillingly good! Other notable tracks are “Eating the Cannibals”, “Breaking into Heaven”, "Follow the Tears" and “Atom & Evil”. If you love Sabbath, Dio or just Metal, I recommend this album! As for a rating? No brainer for me personally as this gets a rare 10 devil horns out of 10 as the band is just ON, simply giving Metal a good ass kicking to say HEY! Remember us? We are back! ‘Cause, simply put, they are back!

Chickenfoot - Chickenfoot (2009) review

what do you get when you take Sammy Hagar (ex-Van Halen, ex-Monterose. ex-HSAS and solo), Micheal Anthony (ex-Van Halen), Joe Satriani (solo and ex-Deep Purple) and Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers)??? answer is Chickenfoot....yes no joke, this is the name of the "super group" (something the band hates to be labeled) that truly is, well super! the album is an all out assault which features some of the best material that either four has ever released and mind you, i am a fan of all four! all the egos have been put aside as everyone shines equally, something that has not been seen since late 80's Van Halen in the case if Micheal and Sammy. Satriani shreds everything in his path as he wails away on guitar while Chad Smith beats his skins with authority holding the band together. the rhythm section of Anthony and Smith are a tight and solid foundation, giving all name sayers the finger for saying Anthony couldn't play bass if his life depended on it. Hagar's lyrics are simple and awesome on the album and his voice, as raspy as ever shine through on the album as it works perfectly with the songs. in fact, his voice gives the songs personality like no other voice could of done. highlights on this album includes "Soap on a Rope", "Oh Yeah", "Sexy Little Thing", "My Kind of Girl", "Learning to Fall" and "Down the Drain". However, all the songs simply kick ass and the more you listen, the more memorable the songs become. this is what a band who is enjoying themselves sounds like...which allows us the listeners to enjoy ourselves! as for a ratting? well chickens only come with two feet so grab 5 chickens cause i give Chickenfoot 10 chicken feet out of 10! i would consider this to be the Rock album of the year as this is what Rock n' Roll is suppose to be, fun and energetic. the only complaint i have is the packaging, would be nice to have a booklet as i don't mind digipacks. So this summer sit back, start the BBQ, call over friends (who don't owe you money!), crack open a case of two-four and blast Chickenfoot nice and loud....sounds odd doesn't it?

Be Careful What You Wish For… By: Gaetano A. Nufrio

To whoever may ever find this…

I remember when it all happened, when they said they have found a way for us to live forever. I, like everyone else got excited. Finally, we could be what every human who has perished before us always wanted to ever be, immortal! They said they had found the miracle cures for everything after so many years of research they had made that breakthrough but, they forgot one thing. There was one thing that did not become apparent until a few years after this amazing breakthrough. That one thing is that now that we cannot die, how don’t we age? A simple enough question yes, but one that was left unanswered by science 62 years later, and I am now a 110 years old, confined to a wheel chair, attempted suicide 4 times unsuccessfully because of these miracle cures, when does the insanity end for me?

When I was 48 years of age in the year 2011 I thought to myself this breakthrough is utterly amazing! What could be better? We can now live forever! No more death, no more misery! Wars soon stopped, guns were soon banished 3 years latter and murders stopped because when you killed someone they could be saved and brought back to life, amazing right? This may seem like the utopia that we have always wanted. Well let me tell you my story and you can be the judge. In this world, yes people don’t die any more, senseless killing has become nonexistent but for some reason misery and suicide attempts are at an all time high, always on the rise with each passing week. So I may not be as insane as you may think I am. I am sitting at this desk, old and beaten from aging much like myself, in a house that was once a home. I am sitting here a broken man, one who has seen many troubles and struggles in my life. As I write this, I am wondering if I am wrong and instead am truly insane for being ungrateful and selfish in wanting to end my existence or, if in fact, more sane than I appear.

My first unsuccessful attempt at suicide came at the age of 55 when my wife left me and my children abandoned me. I sat in what was the once happy home we all shared, figuring out how it all went wrong so fast. That’s when I came across some letters from her lover, Jacob Knot, someone she worked with. I felt sick to my stomach, it all made sense; all the times she said she had to work late she was with Jacob! How could she do this? What did I do? My children caught wind of all this and blamed me for all that happened, that I was the reason why she was leaving. I tried to call but have never succeeded, even 55 years later, they still will not speak to me. With my life at rock bottom I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find and slit my wrists. As the blood started to flow, I felt at peace with myself. Than, 8 hours later, I woke under the bright lights of the hospital to find out that they have saved me. They had added new blood manufactured by BloodEX & Fluids and sealed my wounds with this new product called Seal Skin by Skin & Bones Inc. They attempted to give me an explanation of how it all works and I tried hard to figure out what they were saying so that I could somehow reverse it or break it. I remember hearing this vain and that valve and on and on it went. However, it was so long and confusing that I gave up. The doctors also told me I should be careful when playing with knives so as to avoid the “accident” I just had. When I got home I found that they had not even found my note.

My second attempt at suicide was when I was 68 years old. My legs had started to give out and were not able to support me, so I could not walk any longer. I was then confined to a wheelchair. I was already lonely since my wife left me earlier but now I was unable to walk around. I resented the fact that now I had become immobile. I started to get really depressed at my situation so with little resources at my disposal I took all my medications and swallowed them all at once, overdosing. I was dead for 5 hours before they discovered my body lying limp in the chair. What they explained to me later after the various operations and procedures was that they cleaned out my system with new blood made that was immune to overdoses, again by BloodEX & Fluids, that filters any excess medication or drugs so as to prevent an “accidental” overdose happing to me again later on. This new blood would have to be replaced every 3 years to make sure the filters in the bloodstream function properly. Then they attempted to give me an explanation of the procedure which I just nodded with as the medical jargon made no sense to me. When I arrived back to my apartment my suicide note, much like the last time, was left untouched.

My third attempt was my closest encounter with death to date. I was at home, at age 72, listening to one of my favourite bands of my youth, Black Sabbath and their song “Die Young”. What a lovely fantasy that is now to me, to never grow old. That’s when it hit me, suffocation! That’s it! They can’t give me breath! How stupid and naive was I? They mentioned everything else in their presentation of how they can restore life except breath! So I locked myself in the garage, turned on my old 1999 Chevy Corvette, let the motor running and the carbon dioxide take me away from this existence. I was left there for a day before the neighbours broke down my door to discover my lifeless body. I had done it! I had finally beat the system! When they brought me back to life, they explained to me that I must have passed out while I had started my car. They said that they figured that since I was confined to the wheel chair that it was okay if I wanted to start my car and hear the motor running, but that I had to be careful. How stupid are these people? They told me that they had replaced my lungs with these new mechanical lungs that continue to function even with little oxygen entering your body made by Internals & Insides Inc. The doctors also told me that they replaced my blood with new blood from BloodEX & Fluids that filters out all toxins that could be harmful if they were to enter my body. The new blood costs much more than the old BloodEX & Fluids blood they put in me last time but would be replaced every 5 years instead of 3. Then I was given another long winded account of the operations that they had preformed on me which I simply ignored. At this point I think that they just loved to hear the sound of their own voices or just think to themselves how smart they think they sound. For all I knew and cared, they could have been speaking in tongues. When I got home, I discovered that my little suicide note was left, still folded on the windshield of my Corvette.

My fourth attempted happened not too long ago. At the age of 103 years old they discovered that I had heart disease. I was overjoyed! Finally someone had answered my prayers and ended my misery! That was when the doctors told me that since it looked so bad that I required immediate surgery. In me they installed a new Cupid’s Cardiac heart, which beats at a steady pace and is immune to all diseases. It wasn’t all that cheep, but they charged it to me anyways. This time I told them not to bother with an explanation as it was not going to make sense to me anyways. So they spared me the explanation and let me go on my way. So while I was wheeling myself home, I glided onto the street thinking if nature wasn’t going to do it, than I would. That was when the 18 wheeler came from nowhere doing 120 k/h and hit me dead on. My last thought when I thought I had finally beat death was that I forgot to leave a note but I then I thought to myself, who would read it? Then, 8 hours later, I was brought back to life. Turns out he hit the breaks so the only damage was that I broke my neck and a few bones in my body. What the doctors did was grab some Bone Paste made by the Fusing Corporation. The paste can only glue broken bones together so, now my neck cannot move. Again, they did not spare me the pleasure of not hearing the explanation. I simply ignored it bring myself deeper into depression. Not only am I still alive and confined to a wheel chair, now my neck cannot move! Life cannot get any worse for me!

Just the night before, 7 years after those events, I was going through my basement when I came across an old rifle I had stored long ago. I got it! So I searched for the bullets that were stored near the gun and sure enough, they were where I left them. See, one thing they forgot when they banned guns was that they only banned the production of guns and ammunition however, if you had one you could still keep it as they were seen as harmless. Back when they spoke of this “great” breakthrough, I was excited at the thought of being immortal. I, like most human beings, prayed that we could be immortal. We all used to worry that if we died than, we would be some forgotten memory or an afterthought. How childish we were in our thinking! I remember that, as a child, I was told to “be careful what you wish for, you may just get it”, well we all got what we wanted but I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want this life anymore! I don’t want to be some cyborg anymore! It seems that not much of my body is organic except my useless legs and hands. To keep me alive, it costs me over $150,000 a year for maintenance and labour. I did not choose to be like this, others have chosen on my behalf. Sure, some people choose to have themselves enhanced by the various products but they chose and I didn’t! I used to be afraid that no one would remember me when I passed on but no one cares for me now that I am alive. My children want nothing to do with me and my ex-wife is one reason for all my misery. I have nothing left to live for but they still keep me alive! This little note is so that, who ever may come across this, may judge for themselves if I did the right thing or not. Goodbye.

Rant #16: Stupidity

that's right, i am writing a rant on stupidity! over the past few months i have some across many acts of stupidity! honestly, are people just born stupid? i seem to think so! taking meaningless risks when driving, almost rear ending people who stop at stop signs, hitting people working in a parking lot cause your in a hurry to pick up little jr son of a bitch, WTF! everyone best calm the fuck down and be a little more rational before they do anymore stupid shit! i have seen people get their fuck'n hands get stuck on belts, people arguing with proffs who are a billion times smarter than they are PICK YOUR FUCK'N FIGHTS WISELY! now you may be wondering what direction this rant is going in but trust me, i am on track with stupidity as people make many decisions out of stupidity, no good comes from it and people are left shaking their heads asking themselves wtf just happened or wtf they just saw. now maybe these people are more intelligent than i can simply give them credit for but they sure as hell don't fuck'n show it. their iq is a million times lower than their goddamn shoe size which doesn't say much for many people. i have seen people who were stoned out of their fuck'n minds or plastered out of their goddamn minds make better decisions than most of these fuck'n people mentioned above, hell they make me look like goddamn Einstein when i see half the stupid shit they do and i do my share of stupid shit but it is funny where as their stupidity is far from and hurts more people than they can ever comprehend and that is my rant on stupidity

Rant #15: Depression

ok, this rant is about something that everyone goes through at some times in their lives and that's depression. that's all fine and dandy if someone is depressed, yes we all go through it BUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR OWN FUNK! like honestly, woe is me, woe is my, give it a goddamn rest! we all get bad luck and yes we all complain about it but some people spend their whole goddamn existence complaining! also, TAKE A SHOWER! when people get depressed the first thing that goes is personal hygiene and that is just sickening! you complain that she said you were suffocating her? well with that smell i can see why! your suffocating me! and you know what? life could be a lot worse! so your lonley and no one loves you OPEN YOUR FUCK'N EYES! A) everyone feels alone and B) people surprisingly do give a shit about you, your just too fuck'n blind to notice them there because your complaining to anyone who will listen to you discuses your your own personal tragedy! better yet, go pay some shrink $100 whatever an hour to hear you complain about your shitty existence just so everyone else doesn't have to hear it no more. like personally, i don't mind if its a friend or someone close to me who needs someone to talk to but i can do without the whiny emo bitches who that's their soul purpose of life is to complain about how unfair it is, GROW THE FUCK UP! and that's my rant on depression